so i said before, the first time i received my posting two and a half years back, i was like where?! why?! tsk! and i expected the worse. i hated the travelling and i always thought i would be posted to a school in my area. i never once thought that this school would hold a meaning to me so much.
i never even teared when i left xingnan after 6 years or fuchun after 4years and i never once thought i would leave hongkah. well. now i am, not by choice.
i used to complained a lot on the amount of work given, i did not seem to comprehend why i must set an exam paper when i was a three months old beginning teacher. why i must plan an event when i was a 6 months old beginning teacher whereas the rest of my friends still seemed to be having their orientation. and the worse i hated was i did not have a classroom that i could call my own. but you know the amazing part is, once you gotten use to the culture, everything is fun and everything does not seems as hard anymore. and when the rest of my friends started complaining about their increasing workload, i was like, "been there, done that. nothing new."
school become dearer to me the second year i was there, the same year when i got closer to that one special friend and since then, everything just got better. i look forward to coming to school, to eating lunch together, walking to our lessons together, then complained about our classes, me stoned during meetings and always leeching on her and finally ending work together almost daily. which was why i had really a hard time trying to cope with the fact that she would be going to nie when my third year came. she went, i stayed and i coped, without her. everyone knew my bestfriend left the school.
and thats when my class, the same class for two and a half years told me they would be my new friend (because they thought i only have one friend in school), i rejected them. i refused.
special friend left but she always came back to visit, during celebrations and my birthday (super touched). and in the same year, i gotten closer to my department. not that i was not, but even closer. i could really say everything and not being afraid that they would judge. i love meetings because i know in spite of all the work, i definitely find fun. i always do.
and for my reporting officer who has so much faith and for believing my potential. i am so grateful how she allows me to handle big events and allowing me to understudy so many good teachers to learn things that i never knew i would be able to handle. i thought i am just going to be subjects teacher and if not for her, i would not know i am able to handle technical duties. i really like how she took care of me and how she held my hand throughout this whole journey. she cushioned my fall and making sure i knew that there will always someone there for me. and i really really love her for not only concern herself with my work related issues but my personal issues as well. i know i am going to compare my next reporting officer to her and i know this change will not be easy.
going to classes is also fun although i gave them angry stare daily. i shouted and stared but i know things would never go out of hand because i know my students knew i truly care for them. i pushed them too hard and they simply let me push because they knew i want them to be better and i know they want to be better for me as well. i always thought they never like me because i always thought i made the least effort in trying to know them personally. but i was so wrong. i thought they were still very young to be able to feel the love i have for them. after all, they were my first class, for the two and a half years in school.
i thought i could see this class graduate and i would cry with them when i give them their psle results. i am not going to have this chance now. i knew i was going to cry on the last day of school.
and out of the parting gifts, i received an envelop of fiftytwo$ and of course i knew i would have to return to the kid. she wrote that it was her savings and apologized for giving me so little. i told my dad about it and immediately he told me that kid must have be really appreciative of me because it is not easy to give someone their savings. i always thought i didnt put in enough effort in class since i was angry half the time and this fiftytwo$ really tells me otherwise. and i remembered clearly that it all started with me asking how she felt.
choosing a school in woodlands is my choice. a choice that i do not know if i ever will regret. i am worried. super worried. i do not know how well i can adapt but well, i know eventually i would. i am afraid. super afraid.
wish me luck.
No comments:
Post a Comment